She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
