Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
