I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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