My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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