then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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