so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
