You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
