all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
