Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
