wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
