the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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