your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
