I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
