the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
