it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm really busy with my period
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