god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
