i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
