how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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