Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I am available for nakedness
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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