i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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