your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
