Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
