She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
