I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Randomize
