My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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