And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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