she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
