I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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