Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
