found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
