I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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