glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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