So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
