and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
