the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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