well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
