There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
