woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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