He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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