I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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