you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
