he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
