You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
