Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
