yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
