This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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