Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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