Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
