Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
