Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
