i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
